“You should’ve married someone else!”

31 Days of “The Art of Wearing Your Fat Dreams”

He shouted as he made a quick exit from our bedroom, leaving me gobsmacked. “What the what just happened here?” I wondered. Good thing I had 9000 credit hours of undergraduate psychology under my belt to psychoanalyze this man I hooked up with or we would have been over ages ago. All I did was show him my list of dreams, what’s the biggie? Himself had just completed his Life Planner course and one must practice what he preaches, so we, as a couple began our Life Plan by answering the first three questions of Life Planning. I won’t bore you with them, but they have something to do with listing your dreams. So we did. But a funny thing happened, Himself did not like my answers (which funnily enough were very close to his own answers). I listed- more travel, have a house at the beach or some such place, and something about not having to do laundry ever again. Ever.

After I straight-jacketed him, propped him up on a stool, slapped him right then left while a single lightbulb swung back and forth above us from a faulty wire casting strange shadows across our faces, I got down to the bottom of what was bothering him about my list of dreams.

Himself felt personally responsible for fulfilling all my dreams.

Sweet really. But this did hit me hard. What a burden to carry, and no wonder he felt inadequate as my spousal unit to go so far as to wish me off to the hills to marry someone else who could what, financially support my dreams? Pffft. Where on his list did he write, “my dream is to fulfill all of my wife’s dreams?” Ah, you see, that was already some unwritten and quickly forgotten rule we have as a married couple- to make each other happy. Insert gagging sounds and shouts of “get a room.”

After exploring this, I assured him that he would not be a complete failure if my dreams did not come true. They’re only dreams. Right? Except for that laundry thing. That alone could end it all right now, forcing me unwillingly into a sordid affair with a man who loves to do laundry, all the way down to the folding and putting away. Goosebumps. Wait, is that “April-fresh” fabric softener I smell?

Which brings me to ask- Who is responsible for fulfilling our dreams?

Missed any Days on this Dream Ride?

Day 1- The Art of Wearing Your Fat Dreams– Introduction
Day 3- Mozart Balls Really Do have Nuts- Tips on travelling with food allergies– Overcoming obstacles
Day 4- The Barf Stops Here- Homemade SpaghettiOs– If given the gift of time, how would you then spend it?


  1. Alison
    Posted October 2, 2011 at 9:40 AM | Permalink

    I thought we were responsible for fulfilling our own dreams, although helping your spouse fulfill their life dreams is, well, fulfilling. I know that without DTM I may not have the ability to try the things I have been able to try or even have had the support (emotionally and financially) to do so. He is so great!

    I don't mind the laundry so much, but if I never had to go grocery shopping again, that would be absolutely wonderful!

  2. Jersey Girl Cooks
    Posted October 2, 2011 at 4:07 PM | Permalink

    You are funny!I think my husband feels the same way but I think we as individuals are responsible for fulfilling our dreams too. I think I might put your laundry thing on my list too…haha.

  3. Alene
    Posted October 2, 2011 at 9:25 PM | Permalink

    Love your storytelling! Of course, Jesus should be the only one we look to fulfill our dreams. However, I spent many a year waiting on my husband to do that. 🙁 I can say now that I rely on Jesus, our marriage is a dream. 🙂 (ok well most days!)

  4. amy grace
    Posted October 2, 2011 at 9:52 PM | Permalink

    I agree that you should be fulfilling your own, but your spouse definitely helps – support, encourage, etc. I have dreams of lots more travel, living somewhere that's normally warm and owning my own design studio, but I doubt any of those are going to happen. But we will work towards things that get us closer to what we dream and cannot hold each other responsible if we do not try ourselves!!

  5. oneordinaryday
    Posted October 3, 2011 at 6:52 PM | Permalink

    Look at you and the Mister in your wedding finest!!! Can't you just see all those dreams radiating from the two of you? 🙂

  6. Brenda
    Posted October 3, 2011 at 9:18 PM | Permalink

    My husband feels very much as yours, but I feel that I am responsible for making my dreams come true, with him only assisting if asked. On the other hand, I equally feel that it is up to me to make his life comfortable enough to make his dreams easier to fulfill.

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. All posts are moderated.


  • 10,080 Minutes - BRK Book The story of our dramatic lifestyle makeover and journey for living what matters.

    10,080 Minutes - Daniel and Robin Joss