How to Cook a Healthy Marriage: Culinary Proverbs to live by

On May 29th Himself and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary!  We enjoyed a nice home-cooked meal with our children, Champagne and all.  We fell in love in our 20s and built our love around Faith in God while we worked on our careers and dreamed our dreams. Our 30s were filled with having babies. Period. One entire decade of being pregnant and changing diapers, a wonderful blur of precious, chubby little babies,  and snot. Maybe our busiest and hardest decade yet.  Our 40s have been filled with enjoying our children, mentoring them, and watching the dreams dreamt in our 20s continue to come true.  How on earth did 20 years go by so quickly?  I don’t know, but it has been wonderful, hard at times, but wonderful just that same.

How to Cook a Healthy Marriage…

1.  Always start out with a larger pot than what you think you need- a Julia Child quote.  When I was 24, I made a list of everything I wanted in a husband and my life. My Ma told me never to settle and to look up- not only for a big guy but for a good one, one who would give me the life I had dreamed about ever since I was a little girl. When you get the big pot, the cooking goes easy, because big pots leave room for stirring, additions, seasonings, and simmering, while a small pot constrains, boils over, and burns.

2.  Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk-  Overlook more than you Look. Gripe over his socks on the floor, and he’ll give back by pointing out your hair in the shower drain. Try laughing instead.

3.   Talk Doesn’t Cook Rice- Talk all you want, but if it is not backed by actions, you will be left with hard, inedible rice and an empty life.

4.   Save your breath to cool your porridge-  Words hurt, use your breath for CPR instead- Commitment, Priority, Respect.

5.  Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean- The perfect symbiotic couple were those Sprats. I believe this of our marriage, “He can do what he does because of what I do, and I can do what I do because of what he does.”  There is no such thing as 50/50, it is 100% from both of us. We both live the lives we have planned as individuals and as a couple, together.

6.  A watched Pot never boils- Did you ever hear a couple say, “When we get money, or a house, or finish school, or have a baby, then we will be living or happy?” It takes a long time for a pot to boil, for plans to come to fruition, for goals to be met. You put the pot on, you turned on the heat by setting your plans in motion, now go live your life while the heat does its work or you will never enjoy the journey.

7.  Half a loaf is better than no bread- Always be content in every circumstance.

8.  It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks- Live below your means, save for a rainy day, put away a nest egg, but all along the way, after your needs are met, and you have given to charity, treat yourself to a bit of luxury.  Because if you wait, it may be too late.

9. Plant walnuts and pears for your heirs- Plan to give to your children and your children’s children, not only your fortunes, but your wisdom, Faith, reputation, example, and love.

10.  The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach- Yes it is. We are talking the heart here. His loins are another topic.  But the idea here is “service” and if you want to get to his heart, you will serve him. Starting with a simple meal is a good place to begin. In our home we all serve each other. When I am tired, Himself or my children tend to me, and let me tell you, it touches my heart. You want to get a man’s heart- serve him, especially a good meal, and watch him give you not only his heart, but his all. Oh, and if he doesn’t, you grabbed the wrong pot in the first place.

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After all these years, he still holds my hand.


  1. Posted June 19, 2013 at 9:27 AM | Permalink

    Happy Anniversary….a little late! Great advice ! Hope you have a wonderful summer!

  2. Posted June 19, 2013 at 10:19 PM | Permalink

    Love this! Great tips Robin Sue – congrats on 20!!! I’m approaching 19 years!

    • Robin Sue
      Posted June 20, 2013 at 10:40 AM | Permalink

      Thanks Jenn! Congrats to you too!

  3. Kim
    Posted June 20, 2013 at 11:06 AM | Permalink

    How sweet! Thanks for your wise words. Congratulations!

  4. Marta
    Posted June 20, 2013 at 4:57 PM | Permalink

    Congratulations! Wish you both another happy 20, 40 60 anninversary. I love your recipe for healthy marriage!

    • Robin Sue
      Posted June 20, 2013 at 7:55 PM | Permalink

      Thank you Marta, another 60 would be amazing!

  5. sharon
    Posted June 20, 2013 at 5:15 PM | Permalink

    I LOVED this! My husband and I have been married 21 and a half years wonderful years. And, I agree, faith in God is the building block to a flourishing marriage. I especially chuckled at number 8 because it reminded me of a quote from the Little House on the Prairie books–“The rich man gets his ice in the summer and the poor man gets his ice in the winter.” You nailed it– have an attitude of gratitude and remember that today is an unrepeatable gift.
    Happy, Happy Anniversary! ~Sharon

    • Robin Sue
      Posted June 20, 2013 at 7:54 PM | Permalink

      Thank you Sharon! So grateful for all our blessings!

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